The Christian Mother
by Joseph Arthungal
Giving comfort to her children is the supreme motherly virtue.
I write as the grandson of Christian mothers, as the son of a Christian mother, as the husband of a Christian mother, and as one blessed and loved by many mothers in Christ. I write from a thankful heart, desiring to share the blessings with as many people as possible. I write to encourage mothers everywhere. I write in praise of motherhood. A mother is to be blessed by her children and to be praised by her husband. Her own works praise her. Prov. 31:28, 31.
The first occurrence of the word ‘mother’ in the Bible is in Genesis 3:20: “Now the man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all living.” ‘Eve’ means life or life-producer. This name reveals a mother’s singular glory. Adam gave this name to his wife prophetically before she bore children! The grace of motherhood, therefore, belongs to all women, and we should esteem all women – especially older women - accordingly. 1 Tim. 5:2. This understanding will help promote order and harmony in the home, in the Church, and in society.
Giving comfort to children is the supreme motherly virtue. “ As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; And you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.” Isa. 66:13. This defines a mother’s heart (as corresponding to God’s) in the deepest sense: giving comfort. God created the mother’s heart, reflecting His own. The mother is a comforter for her children. The Holy Spirit is called the Comforter. God is called “God of all comfort…” 2 Cor. 1:3. The foremost virtue of a Christian mother therefore is the comfort of the spirit she can give to her own children as well as other children. In this ministry she is a co-worker with God. Every Christian mother would do well to seek to be filled with the Holy Spirit – the Comforter – so that she may fulfill this blessed ministry.
The mother’s prayers, her tears, her vows, her vision, her care: Samuel’s mother prayed (she “prayed unto the Lord and wept sore”) and made a vow to the Lord, and received her son in answer. 1Sam. 1:11. King Lemuel was the reward of his mother’s vows. Prov. 31:2. This creates a special bond in the spirit between the mother and the child. It was a mother – Eve - who first named a newborn in the Bible. Gen. 4:1. In ancient times either the mother (Gen. 4:1,25; 29:23) or the father (Gen. 4:26; 5:3,29; Ex. 2:22) named the newborn. The naming had prophetic significance: the meaning of the name signified both the character and the potential of the child. What does this teach us? While the child is in the womb, the mother (also the father) may pray for the child, and receive an intimation in the Spirit from the Lord concerning the child’s future. Thus the parents can bless the child with the appropriate name when it is born.
Sarah’s care for Isaac led to the expulsion of Hagar and Ishmael even against Abraham’s wishes. God asked Abraham to do as Sarah wished. It was Jacob’s mother who guided him in securing his father’s blessing. Such being a mother’s care, her word should be law (teaching) for the children. Prov. 1:8; 6:20.
The faith of Timothy’s grandmother and mother: Timothy had a godly mother, and a godly grandmother. The scripture says that the sincere faith that was in Timothy dwelt first in his grandmother and in his mother. 2 Tim 1:5. Here we see three generations of faith, the third producing a man who served God with tears, 2 Tim 1:4, of whom Paul writes: "from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you wisdom that leads to salvation." 2 Tim 3:15. Timothy knew the sacred writings from childhood. Who taught him? His mother and grandmother. He grew up to be a man of God’s Word and a co-worker of Apostle Paul.
The mother’s ministry in the household in leading the children to Christ: The filial piety (respect for parents) is the channel that guides the child’s heart toward reverence for God. Children will grow up to appreciate God’s love in the parents’ love. This defines and glorifies the parents’ example before young children. Correction has to be in reference to a model, not in reference to precept only. The mother and the father are the foremost role models for the children. Have we failed to see our calling? Have we failed to see our ministry? Let us hasten to the place of repentance.
We read: "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." Deut. 6:7. God's word thus becomes the center of life in the home. The mother
(also the father) keeps God's Word in her heart, and it overflows in loving words to children in ordinary conversations. The pressures of daily life often make this difficult. We therefore need to be diligent, because we are told to "teach them diligently to your children." Deut. 6:7. We may do this at the dinner table. We may do this when we travel. We have opportunity to do this especially during family devotions. When we love our children, we will discover new ways of communicating with them in daily life. It is fellowship. It is pure joy to see your child receiving God's Word trustingly from your lips.
Let us emphasize an important point: Begin when the child is a child. The Lord Jesus Christ is calling the children to come to Him. Matt. 19:14. How early may we begin? “But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when I was upon my mother’s breasts.” Ps. 22:9. We may learn from this verse that as the mother nurses the child, she may also give him or her the pure milk of God’s Word in songs and stories and memory verses. As you pray for and with the child, the Lord will give you wisdom to minister the Word and the Spirit to the child. The mother’s (and the grandmother’s, as in Timothy’s case) role is prominent in the beginning, and the father joins in due time. As the Word is received in the child’s heart, the Spirit also is received. “The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.” said Jesus. John 6:63. We are planting and watering the seed. God will give the growth. We must abide in faith for the future of the child even when the results are not encouraging. Such faith on our part pleases God. “All your children shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be the peace of your children.” Isaiah 54:13. The children receive gladly and trustingly from mother and father as well as from grandparents. The word of God will become a fountain of life in due time, and will keep them from drinking from the spirit of the world in their teenage years. God's Word will be fulfilled that says, "How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your Word." Ps 119:9.
A Mother’s Role in Raising Children for the Lord
By Susannah Wesley
[Note: The author of the following passage was the mother of 19 children of whom 8 died in infancy. She spent an hour with every child once a week, instructing him or her in God's Word. She was the mother of John Wesley who brought revival to England in the 18th century, and of Charles Wesley the hymn writer. This is a condensed paraphrase of a letter written by her in 1732.]
“First of all, it must be remembered that no mother can bring up her children for the Lord who does not renounce the world completely in her own life to start with. Secondly, she must be willing to devote her entire life to the work of saving the souls of her children, and must be convinced that such a life is a life well-spent.
When children are about one year old, they must be taught to fear the rod and cry only softly. Thus they can escape an abundance of correction that they would otherwise have to learn later on. That awful noise of children screaming in the house must never be heard in a house. Even in their talking and their playing, children must not be permitted to be loud. Thus there can be peace in the house. At the meal table, children must not be allowed to choose whatever food they like. They must be taught to eat whatever is set before them. They must also be taught that they can get nothing that they cry for. They must ask quietly for whatever they want and must be taught to speak respectfully to their parents.
In order to form the minds of children aright, the first thing that must be done is the conquering of their will and thus bringing them to an obedient attitude of mind. If the will is not subdued at an early age, they will become stubborn and obstinate and it will be very difficult to correct them later on. A child must not only be corrected, he must be conquered. Only thus can it be preserved until the time comes when it chooses Christ of its own. When the will of a child has been totally subdued, and it is brought to the place where it fears and respects its parents, then a great many problems are solved.
Some childish follies should be ignored and some others reproved only mildly. But no deliberate disobedience should ever be overlooked. It must be punished - the degree and type of punishment being dependent on the circumstances of the case. Cowardice and the fear of punishment often lead children to tell lies in order to escape punishment. To prevent this, it must be made clear to them that if anyone confesses his fault and is sorry for what he has done, he will not be punished. No child in any case should be rebuked or punished twice for the same fault; and if he changes his ways, he should never ever be reminded of his past failures. Every significant act of obedience that is the result of a child having denied himself in some way should be commended and praised. Where a child makes a mistake, when it intended to do what was right, it should not be punished, but only lovingly taught the right way to do it in the future.
Children must be taught to respect God, to be still during times of prayer, and to pray by themselves every day. They must also be taught to respect the property of others and never to take even a small pin or coin that does not belong to them.
We must never forget that true spirituality is nothing other than denying one's own will and doing the will of God. Since the one great hindrance to our eternal happiness is our self-will, any small indulgence of it cannot be ignored, and every small denial of it will be eternally profitable. Heaven and hell depend on this. And so the mother who works to subdue self-will in her child works together with God to save a soul for eternity. On the other hand, she who indulges her child's self-will actually does the Devil's work for him and helps toward the eternal damnation of her child's soul.”
Now let us pray: ‘Heavenly Father, grant me grace that I may comfort my children with the comforts of the Spirit, correct them with motherly love, and preserve the honor of motherhood you have bestowed upon me. As your child, I ask for your comforts for me, and your correction for me. Grant Lord, that I always abide in utmost reverence for you. Amen.’
